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Launching TravelPirates Air
Announcing the Launch of TravelPirates Air, a Revolution in Air Travel!
Pirates --- boy do we have some exciting news to share with you today! We're absolutely thrilled to announce the launch of TravelPirates Air! Of course, we won't be doing things in quite the same way as other airlines have done --- we'll be putting our own pirate twist on things..
Only error fares will be bookable on TravelPirates Air so forget about booking at normal prices whenever you choose. You can only get a ticket during completely random error fare periods; usually when you're in the middle of something else. These sales will last no longer than 3 hours. Good luck!
Being a pirate airline means that the rum will flow freely! No, really --- all passengers over the age of 21 will be provided with a free ration of rum upon boarding. And during the flight, your ration will be topped off by our onboard parrot waiters.
Safety is a top priority. Our expertly trained pirate flight attendants will ensure that all passengers have a safe voyage. Additionally, only staff with wooden legs will be employed, as wooden legs will be a vital part of the role. Hiring starts today! Please, don't apply if your leg isn't wooden.
TravelPirates Air provides all the facilities you would expect at very reasonable price points, with toilet access starting from just $14 per use (depending on flight length, season, mood of the flight attendant, and day of the week) --- with the option to pre-purchase access at the discounted price of just $12. Simply speak to the flight attendant during the flight to arrange to use your pre-purchased lavatory access.
We'll also shake up aircraft seating by offering a world first --- panorama seating! This means you'll have the very best views as we fly you to your destination, soaking up a birds' eye view of the world below --- from your comfy spot underneath the wing! Don't worry --- secure straps will ensure your safety during the course of the flight. Panorama seating starts from just $23 per flight.We expect our first flight to take place later this year. Ticket sales for our inaugural flight from Shipwreck Island to Penzance will begin during our first error fare period at some point in the future.
We hope to see you onboard soon! Happy April Fools' Day!